Updated: Jan 6
Are you living in line with your truth?
Before I began to actively pursue my dreams by developing Total Transformation and writing Crossroads my answer to this question would have been a resounding no - if I had possessed enough insight to ask myself that question.
I felt a deep pull inside towards this path, but I was consumed with self-doubt.
While I had a deep desire to become a writer and a musician, these things also terrified me. I used to ask myself, “Why would anyone listen to what I had to say? Why would they even care?” Eventually I realized those fears were misplaced, and my true fear stemmed from exactly the opposite. What if they did listen to me? That would mean that I would have to make myself vulnerable. I would have to open myself up.
It took many years and a lot of hard work, but it was converting these fears, or weaknesses, into strengths that enabled me to transform my life.
In first verse of CROSSROADS called “The Seasons of Change” I begin to confront my fears, pursue my passions, and explore entrepreneurship. As my confidence began to improve my marriage began to crumble and I found myself standing at my first major crossroads. If you'd like to read the details of my story then follow the link below to purchase "The Seasons of Change."
In this week’s podcast you can listen to the two excerpts that I share from “The Seasons of Change” as well as the first song that I wrote as I began to go down this path of self-discovery. In the upcoming podcasts I will be continuing to share excerpts from the first verse of Crossroads. You can follow the link below to listen for free on Apple Podcasts.
It was very difficult and often trying as I began to confront these weaknesses, develop my business, and write Crossroads. There was one thing that helped me to persevere - my clients. When I saw their lives change as a result of my business my resolve was strengthened. In the moments when I thought I was failing the progress that I saw in my clients helped remind why I had ventured down this path of entrepreneurship. With their unknowing encouragement I made adjustments, refocused, and tried again.
Rather than sharing my own story today, I'd like to share a story from one of my clients. Carol was one of my first clients after I opened Total Transformation and we have now been working together for the last six years. Carol has overcome many obstacles over the years we have worked together, but today I am going to share a more recent piece of her story.
Although Carol had always been an active member of her church, she decided to become even more involved in her her faith by pursuing the lay ministry. Lay ministry is a term used for ministers of faiths in Christian denominations who are not ordained in their faith tradition. Lay ministers are people who are elected by the church, full-time or part-time.
It wasn't long before Carol realized just how involved this process would become. To be accepted into the program the church required that Carol have her first marriage annulled - which meant delving into difficult things from her past, things that Carol didn't want to revisit. The process became so difficult for her that she came very close to leaving her church. It was extremely difficult for her to walk through those doors and continue to hold her head high when she felt so ashamed of her past. In the end she found the courage to do it despite the internal struggle that it had caused.
It took quite some time, but Carol's first marriage was eventually annulled and Carol was accepted into the program. One morning when Carol met me for our weekly appointment I could tell she was uneasy. She finally admitted that she had decided not to continue with the lay ministry for other reasons. She worried that I would be disappointed in her decision.
When I asked Carol why she had decided to discontinue the program she cited reasons that were very valid. I proceeded to tell Carol that I wasn't disappointed in her at all - in fact I was incredibly proud of her. It would have been different if she was running away from the lay ministry because she was afraid to confront her past, but that wasn't the case. Carol had simply looked at the program in depth and decided that it wasn't the right path for her. It is fairly common that we start out down a path only to realize that it is not exactly what we thought it would be and we must readjust our goals.
Going through the process of acceptance into the lay ministry program allowed Carol to face things from her past that she had never fully put behind her. And ever since that day Carol has made progress in leaps and bounds - she is no longer ashamed of her past. She confronted her fears and overcame them. She is a different person today as a result of her experience.
Carol’s story perfectly demonstrates how our so-called “failures” are often not failures at all. It is in the face of adversity that we have the most potential for growth - if we rise to the challenge.
We all have our obstacles to overcome - we'd be fools to expect our difficulties would ever cease. That's the way life goes! However, if we confront our fears, convert our weakness into strength, and discover balance in our lives then our obstacles - big or small - will no longer have the power to send our life into tumult again.
No matter what life throws at me these days I experience fewer ups and downs. I have discovered stability, self-acceptance, and happiness that eluded me in the past - and I have seen Carol experience the same.
I am grateful for every difficult situation that I have faced, because they have made me stronger - they made me the woman that I am today.
Always be true to yourself - never be afraid to chase your dreams, no matter what they may be. And if you find that you are not living the life that you want to be living, then I hope you can find the courage to make a change.
“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.”
~ Rikki Rogers
Excepts from CROSSROADS: My Search for Truth Through Music and a Lot of Red Wine
"The Seasons of Change"
Purchase "The Seasons of Change" on Amazon.
Listen on Apple Podcasts